We all have our strengths and weaknesses as writers.  I’ve been told time and again that my strength is description, specifically imagery.  Which doesn’t surprise me.  I’ve always been a very observant person and a highly visual person.  I might not remember what you and I were talking about at lunch a week ago, but I’ll remember what you were wearing, and the color of the tile we were standing on, and that guy who walked behind you wearing a funny hat.  It’s just how I’m wired.  I’m lucky that this knack lends itself to giving good descriptions.  (And heck, if I ever get mugged, it might come in handy!)  I recently had a friend ask me, “HOW do you DO that?”  I answered her, but I also thought it woudl make a good blog post. 

As a newbie writer, my knack for description got me into a bit of trouble.  I got caught in the snare we call overwriting.  But after a lot of practice at putting a muzzle on my internal ”scene painter”, I think I’ve found the delicate balance between painting a scene and being over-the-top.  It all comes down to details.  The details you choose to mention are what the reader will remember.  Their imagination will fill in the rest.  You must choose wisely, because everything you DO take the time to describe, the reader automatically assumes is important for some reason.  And it better be.  (Note: All of the examples below are from my novel, Inner Eye, and obviously not for reproducing. )

Rule # 1: choose distinct, unique details – things that will stick out in a reader’s mind.  A lot of people drive silver Hondas, so don’t describe the silver Honda.  Instead describe the annoying rattling noise it makes every time your heroine starts it up, or the decapitated Barbie head hanging from the rearview mirror.  Every hero has broad shoulders and lean hips and looks damn good in his jeans, so instead of mentioning that, mention that his pants sag to one side and jangle when he walks because of his heavy keys, or how cute it is that you can see his Tweetie Bird boxers through a hole in the back pocket.  You get the idea.  Take something ordinary and personalize it.  Make it feel real.     

Rule # 2: ask why.  Why are you including this detail?  Do you really need it?  Does it matter what color the heroines shoes are?  (Maybe it does, just make sure that the white satin stilletos are going to pop back up in another scene, maybe splattered with blood…)  Every descriptive detail needs to pull its weight by achieving at least one of the following: orient the reader, paint the environment/set the mood, give insight into a character (either POV character or another character or both), or set-up for a future event.  Ideally, a description will do double-duty and cover two or more of these in one shot.  But at least have one good reason for including it.  If a paragraph is verbose just because you like to string pretty words together, you’ve gone too far.  Also, never, never, never! use description as filler or to pad word count.  Passages like that are the ones readers skip over.

Example:

Sunlight crept into the dull sky, saturating grey clouds with orange and pink watercolors.  Wild, jagged islands climbed out of the steely waves.  Briana shivered.  The mid-thirties had grown colder in her absence – too much time spent south of the equator.  Her cashmere sweater was the warmest thing she’d packed.  Further proof her brain had gone numb after the phone call summoning her back here.  To the one place she’d tried hard to tuck tidily into a distant corner of her past.

Picking this apart: (1) The creeping sunlight orients the reader to time of day (dawn) and paints the environment.  (2) Jagged islands and steely waves paint the scene and give an indicator that the sight doesn’t sit well with the POV character.  (3) mid-thirties motivates the shiver and gives more environmental info.  (4) cashmere sweater implies money – character insight.    

Rule # 3: describe an environment or character in-depth only once (usually the first time we encounter them, but not always).  After that you can pick from your myriad of carefully-chosen details to re-evoke the image.

Rule #4: use AT LEAST 2 of the 5+ senses.  I say 5+ because in paranormals you also sometimes have super-senses you can use.

Examples for 3 & 4:

Character: 

“Umm . . . thanks?”  Briana passed over the disheveled gift bag, at a loss for an apt description to define Astrid’s appearance.  Earth Muffin meets Punk Rock?  Her hair, chopped short and uneven, was dyed several vibrant shades of blue and purple.  She wore a pair of leggings and a patchwork sweater that could fit around three people.  Her face still shone with eternal youth – glowing skin, freckles, rosy cheeks.  But she’d hardened her looks with a series of piercings – eyebrows, nose, and in the center of her chin.

Environment:

Briana waded through a sea of small, furry creatures.  They sniffed at her feet as she stepped onto the shag carpeting.  Tails wagged, curious cat-eyes stared, and a few heads of the rodent variety popped up from the crowd.   Astrid’s house smelled of potting soil and patchouli incense, which barely covered up a pungent animal musk.  Most of the single floor spread out as one large, roundish room, with exposed wood beams meeting at a peak in the center. 

“I wish you’d told me you were coming,” Astrid said over her shoulder.  She scooped up an Iguana perched on the back of a chair and put him into his habitat – right beside an aquarium full of hermit crabs.  Briana followed her to the fully-loaded gourmet kitchen that took up half the room.  The southern wall was made almost entirely of glass.  Shelves full of plants, flowers, and cages spanned from floor to ceiling.  “I would have cleaned up.” 

The next time I bring Astrid into a scene, I only have to mention one or two details from the above list and the reader will have a good picture of her, like how she often fidgets with her piercings, or her uh . . . unusual wardrobe choices (or the fact that they are usually covered in pet hair of some kind).  The same with the house.  Later I only need to mention the wall of windows, one of the animals, or the peaked roof to call the whole image back to the forefront of the reader’s mind.  Each of these details should pass the first and second rules, too. 

Rule # 5: keep gratis descriptions to a minimum.  Once you’ve established what a character looks like, there’s no need to mention their grey eyes on every page.  The same with orientation details.  I notice a lot of writers feel the need to remind the reader what time of day it is, what the weather is like, etc. in every scene.  Unless you’ve jumped around in time or place, this is usually unnecessary because the reader assumes if it was cold when they went inside, it’s still cold when they come back out.  If you do feel you need to include those details, just make sure they’re pulling double-duty!  Otherwise you are slowing down the story and probably annoying the reader.   

One final note/pet peeve of mine: make sure the details you’re mentioning are in-character for the POV you’re in.  Your hero probably won’t notice the brand of clothes the heroine is wearing (unless he’s a fashion designer or a clothes whore).  Likewise, a heroine is not going to know what type of engine is under the hood of the hero’s sexy car (unless she’s a grease-monkey).  I’m all for clothes-whore heros and grease-monkey heroines, just make sure that’s the case and that the details are believable based on what you’ve laid out for the character. 

There you go – 5 easy rules to follow to make sure your descriptions are hitting their mark, without over-shooting.  I hope they serve you well!